闻到了吗 Smell that?
新漫画书的味道 That's the smell of new comic books.
太棒了 Oh, yes.
今天我来付账 伙计们 They're on me today, boys.
你买单? You're paying?
你又去卖精子了? Have you been selling your sperm again?
没有 只是庆祝一下 No, I'm celebrating.
现在 太空船 As we speak, the space shuttle
正停在国际空间站 Is docking at the at the international space station
配备沃罗威茨零重力 Where it will deploy the wolowitz zero-gravity
废物处理系统 Waste disposal system.
少给自己戴高帽 Oh, get over yourself.
不就是高科技马桶嘛 It's a high-tech toilet.
这么想 Just think.
多亏你的杰作 Thanks to your hard work,
国际太空宇航员才能 An international crew of astronauts
大胆去没人去过的地方拉 Will "boldly go where no man has gone before."
好笑吗 Is that supposed to be funny?
确实好笑 I believe it is.
结合引用《星际旅行》 The combination of the star trek reference
和双重含义的动词 And the play on words involving the double-meaning
去[拉] Of the verb "to go"
说明莱纳德拿你的 Suggests that leonard is humorously mocking
太空管道工程开玩笑呢 Your efforts in space plumbing.
行 开你们的小玩笑吧 Okay, make your little jokes,
但我们四人之中 只有我 But of the four of us, I'm the only one making
为科学技术做出实际贡献 Any real-world contribution to science and technology.
他说得对 这可是重大成果 有两个原因 He's right. this is an important achievement, for two reasons.
可以一号[小便] Number one...
还能二号[大便] And, of course, number two!
真聪明 Oh, clever!
利用基数对应 Playing on the use of cardinal numbers
隐喻人体机能 As euphemisms for bodily functions.
给 谢尔顿 给你留的新《地狱男爵》 Here, sheldon, I pulled the new hellboy for you.
太刺激了 It's mind-blowing.
喂 严重剧透 Excuse me. spoiler alert.
我没有透露什么啊 I didn't spoil anything.
你说了很刺激 You told me it's mind-blowing.
我的思维已经开始提前刺激了 So, my mind is going into it pre-blown.
一旦提前刺激 还谈什么再刺激 And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
让圣诞怪杰跟圣诞节道歉去吧 Said the grinch to christmas.
莱纳德 Uh, hey, leonard.
我能跟你谈件事吗 Could I talk to you about something?
可以 什么事 Sure, what's up?
还记得几周前 Remember I went out with
我和你朋友佩妮约会的事吗 Your friend, penny, a couple weeks ago?
不太记得 Yeah, vaguely.
你肯定记得 Sure you remember.
你那晚还傻乎乎地 That was the night you went to the bar and made a fool
去酒吧找陌生女人呢 Of yourself trying to pick up strange women.
怎么了 What about it?
上次约会不太顺利 Well, uh, the thing is, the date didn't go that well.
真不幸 Oh. too bad.
我想现在能做的就是爬起来 I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up,
拍拍身上的土 忘记她向前看 Dust yourself off, forget it and move on.
我做不到 I can't do that.
见鬼了做不到 Why the hell not?
因为我们明天还有个约会 'cause we're going out again tomorrow.
打扰一下 斯图尔特 Excuse me, stuart.
你看了新的《闪电侠》吗 Have you read the new flash?
-没看呢 -我看了 - No. - well, I have
大为惊叹呢 And it will knock your socks off!
看你还能不能再惊叹 Good luck getting them back on.
怎么说呢 Uh, anyway,
我觉得这可能是我和佩妮最后的机会了 I figure this is probably my last shot with penny
我不想搞砸了 And I don't want to screw it up.
谁都不想搞砸 Nobody wants that.
问题就是 这是第二次约会 Here's my question:it's the second date,
你觉得她会想要进一步的身体接触么 You think she'll be expecting things to get physical?
老天 Uh, gee, um...
我初步的建议是不要 My initial reaction is "no," but, um,
让我想想再回答你吧 Let me think about it and get back to you, okay?
那你打我电话吧 Okay, so, you'll give me a call?
你打我电话也行 Yeah, or you call me.
好的 Great.
谁都不打最好 Or nobody calls anyone.
有意思 Interesting.
佩妮的现任追求者寻求前任追求者的建议 Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor.
拉杰 谢谢你的友情字幕提示 You know, thanks for closed- captioning my pain, raj.
你想确保他既得不到佩妮 Hey, want to make sure he gets nowhere with penny
又不伤害你和他们的友情么 Without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
洗耳恭听 I'm listening.
直接让他做过去两年 Just tell him to do everything
你对佩妮做过的一切 You've done with her for the last two years.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 翻译制作 更多美剧下载 请登陆 www.YYeTs.net
■
翻译：Tina Veronique Rex 海因里希 Marvin
■
后期：孤帆 时间轴：shawnliu
■
校对：Tina 总监：YY
■
好啊 莱纳德 Hey, leonard.
你好 Oh, hi.
-最近如何 -很好 - How's it going? - good, good.
-你呢 -也好 - You? - fine.
我能问你件事么 Oh, hey, can I ask you something?
当然 Sure.
关于你的朋友斯图尔特 You know your friend stuart?
怎么了 Yes.
他又约我出去 我答应了 Well, he asked me out again and I said yes,
然后我觉得 And then I started thinking
应该先和你谈谈 Maybe I should talk to you first.
谈什么 About what?
我和你朋友约会 Well, does it bother you,
你会不会觉得困扰 Me going out with one of your friends?
我们从前... 'cause you know, you and me...
不会 过去的事了 No. no, that's the past.
我会与时俱进 I'm really more of a "right now" kind of guy.
活在当下 You know, living in the moment.
虽然我还和未来扯上点关系 Although I do have to live a little in the future,
那是因为我的工作 'cause, well, that's my job.
当然我对经典科幻的喜爱 Of course, my fondness for classic science fiction
也时常将我带回往昔 Does draw my attention backwards,
但这类故事经常发生在未来 But those stories often take place in the future.
总之 不会困扰我的 In conclusion, no, it doesn't bother me.
好吧 你真大度 Okay, well, that's really cool of you.
我不会说大度 Yeah, well, I wouldn't say cool.
我只会说 I'd just say...
这才是莱纳德 "that's leonard!"
这样说来 你能不能给我点建议 Well, in that case, do you mind giving me some advice?
关于斯图尔特的 About stuart?
没问题 Love to.
他很内向的 He's very shy.
我怎么能让他觉得和我在一起觉得更舒服 How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?
首先 不要低估了 Well, first of all, don't underestimate
不舒服这个词的程度 The value of discomfort.
-真的 -是的 - Really? - oh, yes.
斯图尔特有压力才有动力 Stuart thrives under pressure.
所以他才会在漫画书店工作 That's why he works in a comic book store.
是斯图尔特 Oh, it's stuart.
你不接么? You're not going to answer it?
他想谈佩妮的事 He wants to talk about penny.
而我不想 I don't want to talk about penny.
你在做一个假设 You're making an assumption.
但万一是漫画店失火了呢 Perhaps the comic book store is on fire.
他需要你的帮助 And he needs your assistance.
他怎么会打给我? Why would he call me?
我们不知道 We don't know.
我们没法知道 除非你接电话 And if you don't answer the phone, we can't know.
谢尔顿 我不会接的 I'm not answering the phone, sheldon.
-接电话 莱纳德 -不 - Answer the phone, leonard. - no!
好了 进到语音信箱里了 There, it went to voice mail.
你不准备查语音信息么? Aren't you going to check your messages?
不 No.
你一定要查查信息 莱纳德 You have to check your messages, leonard!
留语音信息 The in a
是社会契约的一半 Is one half of a social contract
而另一半要由查信息来完成 Which is completed by the checking of the message.
如果这个契约被打破了 If that contract breaks down,
整个社会的契约就都坍塌了 Then all social contracts break down
而我们就堕落到无政府状态 And we descend into anarchy.
你脑袋里肯定是一片狼藉 It must be hell inside your head.
偶尔会这样 At times.
哥几个 红色警戒 Guys, we have a code red.
你是指医院的紧急警报 You mean "code red" the hospital emergency alert,
还是蠕虫病毒 "code red" the computer worm, or "code red" the cherry-flavored
还是百事出品的樱桃味汽水? Soft drink from the makers of mountain dew?
我检查零重力马桶的图纸时 Look, I was going over the schematics
在转向阀的说明里 On my zero-g toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake
我发现了一个小小小小的错误 On the specifications for the diverter valve.
有多小? How teeny tiny?
大概冲了十次以后就该坏了 It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.
但任务要持续六个月呢 But the mission is for six months.
说的就是这个红色警戒 Yeah, see, that's the code red.
这就像魔术箱 It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box.
没人知道什么时候 但总会在某个时候 No one knows exactly when, but at some point
有些比木偶更恶的东西 会从那个盒子里跳出来 Something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.
你通知航天局了么? Have you notified nasa?
你疯了? 我该怎么说? No, are you crazy? what am I gonna say?
我搞砸了你们的马桶 "i screwed up your toilet and pretty soon
不久之后 "there's gonna be crap floating
你们整洁的太空站里将漂满大便? All over your nice shiny space station"?
那你准备怎么做? So, what are you gonna do?
我先想出怎么修理 然后再告诉他们 I'm gonna figure out how to fix it, then I'll tell them.
那要我们做什么 So, what do you need us for?
他想不出来怎么修理 He can't figure out how to fix it.
你说过你会支持我的 Hey, you said you were gonna be supportive.
我努力着呢 I'm trying,
但你得承认这实在太搞笑了 but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny.
我同意 I agree.
宇宙探索的高科技性 It's the juxtaposition of the high-tech nature
与马桶事故的平凡 进行的对比 Of space exploration against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet
在这里提供了笑点 That provides the comic fodder here.
快查你的信息 Check your messages.
好了 这是和国际空间站 All right, this is an exact duplicate
配备的沃罗威茨零重力废物处理系统 Of the wolowitz zero-gravity human waste disposal system
一模一样的副本 As deployed on the international space station.
你说的是沃罗威茨零重力 人类排泄物"散布"系统吧 Don't you mean the wolowitz zero-gravity human waste distribution system?
好样的 Good one.
真好笑 Yeah, it's hilarious.
现在 Now...
这些是太空站中 Here's an approximation of the spare parts
大概有的备用零件 Available on the space station.
我们要想个方法 只用这些零件 We gotta find a way, using nothing but this,
来加固这个 To reinforce this so the waste material
避免堵住旋转涡轮 Avoids the spinning turbine.
你是说不要打中风扇?[酿成大祸] You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?
我不得不说 Yeah, I have to say,
我以为重复说马桶笑话会变得无聊 I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.
显然 用太空便便 Apparently, there is no law
做笑点完全无懈可击呢 Of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.
-你好 莱纳德 -好啊 斯图尔特 - Hey, leonard. - hey, stuart.
-你在忙吗 -呃... - You busy? - um...
这是机密 莱纳德 Classified, leonard.
不过是项常规曼哈顿工程罢了 Yeah, it's a regular manhattan project.
啥事 What's up?
我今晚要和佩妮约会 Well, tonight's my date with penny
鉴于我们没法通电话 And since we haven't been able to connect by phone...
真是抱歉 手机坏了 Yeah, I'm sorry, it's been broken.
-电邮也不行 -那也坏了 - Or e-mail. - yeah, that's broken, too.
能坏的都坏了 Everything's broken.
最后时刻 希望你能给我点建议 Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice.
好吧 正好灵光一现 Uh, all right, well, off the top of my head,
和佩妮一起时 最关键的 You know, I think the most important thing with penny
就是要慢慢来 Is to go really slow.
相当慢那种 I mean, glacial.
好吧 Okay.
她平时总是被男人围着 You know, guys come onto her all the time,
所以 你得矜持一点 So, you need to set yourself apart.
羞涩一点 You know, be a little shy,
少点眼神交流 Don't make too much eye contact.
和她保持一种冷酷的疏离感 And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment
说白了就是畏惧感 And-and, you know, fear.
畏惧? Fear?
对 就像 Yeah, like, uh,
你生怕一碰她就碎 You're afraid that if you touch her, she'll break.
这个我很拿手呢 Well, that plays right into my wheelhouse.
很好 Good, good.
今晚玩儿得开心点 Well, uh, you-you kids have fun tonight.
-多谢 莱纳德 -客气啥 - Thanks, leonard. - uh-huh.
那个到底是啥玩意儿 What is that thing anyway?
你不知道吗 You don't know what this is?
-不知道 -很好 滚 - No. - good. get out.
害怕佩妮 Be afraid of penny.
很狡猾嘛 Nice. very crafty.
这又不是馊主意 It wasn't bad advice.
只是不太管用罢了 It's just wasn't particularly helpful.
不管怎样 俺娘常说 为一己私欲 For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive
而欺骗他人 会遭报应的 for personal gain, we make jesue cry.
好了 何不用这个2英寸PVC管 All right, what if we use this two-inch pvc
加固中间的交叉支撑呢? To reinforce the center cross-support?
不行 No good.
对日本人和美国人或许有用 I mean, it might work for the japanese
你要知道太空舱里的 And the americans, but have you seen the size
俄罗斯人什么体型 Of the russians they got up there?
这东西得撑得起 This thing has to hold up
一群狂吃马铃薯的家伙 Against a hearty potato-based diet.
我感觉很难过 I feel terrible.
过来帮帮忙就不会难过了 Maybe if you were helping, you'd feel better about yourself.
我故意破坏斯图尔特和佩妮的约会 I deliberately tried to sabotage stuart's date with penny.
不难过才怪 Of course you feel terrible.
你完全搞砸了自己的"业"[印度教] You completely screwed up your karma, dude.
你不会这么迷信吧 You don't really believe in that superstition, do you?
这不是迷信 It's not superstition.
这跟牛顿学说差不多 It's practically newtonian.
任何作用力 For every action,
都会产生相等的反作用力 There's an equal and opposite reaction.
莱纳德表面像朋友 Leonard pretends to be a friend
实际行为却像个两面派婊子 And acts like a two-faced bitch.
因此 他会转世变成香蕉虫 Therefore, he is reborn as a banana slug.
其实是个完美的体系 It's actually a very elegant system.
这就是因果循环 You know, what goes around comes around.
说到循环 Speaking of what goes around comes around...
好吧 Okay, look.
与其加强这里的结构 Instead of trying to reinforce this structure here,
何不干脆另建一个通道来疏通呢 What if we just ran another line, bypass it entirely?
行不通 管道直径不够 It won't work. the diameter of the tubing is insufficient.
那重置收集槽呢 What if we reposition the collection tank?
行不通 没地儿放 It won't work. no way to mount it.
我有个主意 Okay, here's an idea.
我干脆从此隐姓埋名 What if I change my name and go live
投靠以色列的堂姐艾薇和她老公 With my cousin and her husband, avi, in israel?
这个行得通 That could work.
-早安 -早安 怎么了 - Morning. morning. - what's up?
没什么 我们熬了一夜 Nothing. we just pulled an all-nighter
修理一台零重力...意粉机 Trying to fix a zero-gravity... pasta maker.
我出去买点咖啡 你要吗 I'm going to make a coffee run. do you want any?
不 谢了 我有 Oh, no, thanks. I have coffee.
很好 那昨晚的约会进展如何 Great. so how'd it go with stuart last night?
我实在不想谈 Um, I really don't want to talk about it.
当然可以 Yeah. right. sure.
不过 你们出去之前 The thing is, uh, before you guys went out,
我和他谈过 我... I spoke to him and i...
我说了 我不想谈 I said I don't want to talk about it.
-我只是觉得... -莱纳德 - Okay, I just, I kind of feel... - look, leonard,
我和斯图尔特之间的事和你无关 What goes on between me and stuart is none of your business.
别管闲事了 行吧 So just leave it alone, okay?
你如果真想赎罪 If you really want to clean up your karma,
就快去帮我买拿铁 Go get my freakin' latte.
等下 我想到了 Hang on, I think I've got this.
帮我把这一小片PVC塑料 Help me see if we can wedge this little piece
塞进支撑杆后面 Of pvc behind the support rod.
你高估自己建的 I think you're overestimating the tensile strength
玩意的抗张强度了吧 Of the substructure you're building.
谢尔顿 我自有分寸 Sheldon, I know what I'm doing.
你要是有分寸 这里就不会放着太空马桶 If you knew what you were doing, there wouldn't be
而是放着我的咖啡桌 A space toilet where my coffee table should be.
霍华德 等等 Howard,wait...
为什么不用这个代替PVC管 Why don't you ou use this instead of the pvc
来辅助横向滤波器安装到位呢 To keep the transverse filter assembly in place?
因为这个东东不是空间站的零件 Because this is not a spare part from the space station.
这是比萨饼盒子里 This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps
用来避免盒盖接触起司的 The lid from touching the cheese.
就是这个用途吗 That what that's for?
在印度 盒盖就盖在起司上面 In india, the lid just touches the cheese.
当然了 我们还有极度的贫穷 Of course, we also have rampant
和周期性肆虐的霍乱 Poverty and periodic outbreaks of cholera,
所以起司里有个小纸板也没啥大不了的 So a little cardboard in our cheese is no biggie.
-你去哪儿 -漫画书店 - Where are you going? - comic book store.
好主意呀 我可以借机休息 Oh, an excellent idea! I could certainly use a break.
-我也是 -等等 - Me, too.- Now, hold on.
只要航天员能安全地在太空中大便 You guys can go to the comic book store
我就让你们去漫画书店 When man can once again safely poop in space.
为什么莱纳德可以去 Why does Leonard get to go?
因为他跟佩妮的关系现在纠缠不清 'cause he's upset over his situation with penny
要是再让我听到一次 And if I have to hear about it again,
我就把他卵巢那个地方踢飞 I'm going to kick him in his ovaries.
霍华德 谢谢你的理解 Thanks for understanding, howard.
姐妹 我支持你 I got your back, sister.
好啦 我觉得这台 All right, I think we've got
原型机可以开始接受测试了 A prototype ready to test.
把那个特百惠盒子递给我 Hand me that Tupperware.
哇 真重啊 Wow, that's heavy.
当然重 是我妈妈做的肉馅糕 Damn right it's heavy. it's my mother's meat loaf.
已经用它测试了无数次马桶了 It's been testing toilets for generations.
我必须指出 霍华德 如果给麻省理工写封信 I must say, howard, I think a detailed letter to mit
描述你目前状况 可能会让他们 Describing your current circumstances might entitle you
退回你的硕士学位 To a refund on your master's degree.
好的 模拟零重力环境人类排泄物处理测试 Okay, simulated zero-gravity human waste disposal test
肉馅糕模拟物已就绪 With meat loaf analog in...
三 二 一 Three, two, one.
很好很强大 Fascinating.
你觉得问题出在哪 What do you think the problem is?
面包屑放得不够 Not enough bread crumbs.
-斯图尔特 我想跟你谈谈 -当然 怎么了 - Hey, Stuart, I need to talk to you. - Sure, what's up?
关于佩妮 我觉得我给了你一些很坏的建议 I think I gave you some bad advice about penny,
我想道歉 And I want to apologize.
别啊 你的建议挺不错的 Oh, no, your advice was great.
真的 It was?
是啊 "慢慢来"确实管用 Oh, yeah, going slow really worked.
你开玩笑吧 You're kidding.
对我来说从来不管用 Never worked for me.
昨天吃晚饭的时候 我按照你说的做了 Yeah, last night at dinner, I did what you told me.
我尽量慢慢来 并且保持距离 I went really slow, I kept my distance,
然后两瓶红酒下肚 我们就在车里亲热了 And two bottles of wine later, we were making out in my car.
红酒 我没说要给她喝红酒啊 Wine? I didn't say to give her wine.
没事 因为从那开始就出乱子了 It doesn't matter, 'cause that's where it all went to hell.
接吻的时候 During the kissing?
你做了什么 对着她的嘴打喷嚏么 What did you do, sneeze in her mouth?
我对一个女孩儿做过一次 I did that to a girl once.
没 一切正常 我俩也很投入 No, everything was good and really hot.
然后我说 And I said,
"噢 佩妮" 就在 "Oh, penny," and right where
她应该说"噢 斯图尔特"的时候 她却说了 She was supposed to say, "oh, Stuart," she said...
你的名字 Your name.
"莱纳德"吗 "Leonard"?
-那是你的名字吧 -是啊 不是 是 - That is your name, right? - yeah, no, yeah.
我很抱歉 Wow, I'm sorry.
你肯定不想听这样的话 That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear.
跟"你知道我很花心"不相上下了 Well, it beats, "you know I'm a dude, right?"
确实很糟糕 Yeah, it was pretty bad.
当然 当然 Yeah. no doubt, no doubt.
我很抱歉你俩没啥进展 Okay, well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
不是你的错 Not your fault.
还真不是我的错 Yeah, how about that.
-再见 -拜拜 - See you soon. - Yeah, sure
是的 先生 我知道什么是"机密" Yes, sir, I understand "classified."
我们会守口如瓶 没人会知道 We'll keep it all classified; no one has to know
只有你知我知 Anything about this but you and me.
什么机密 What's classified?
霍华德的太空马桶 Howard's space toilet.
等下再跟你讲 I'll tell you later.
他们已经部署了我们的解决方案 Well, they've deployed our solution.
一起祈祷它会奏效吧 Let's just all hope it works.
我看不出来跟我有什么关系 I don't see why I have to worry.
又不是我的饭碗岌岌可危 My career's not hanging in the balance.
是个玩笑 That was a joke.
笑点在于 它是真的 It's funny, because it's true.
莱纳德 你能不能把酱油递过来 Leonard, could you pass the soysauce please？
抱歉 你跟我说话吗 I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
是啊 我叫的是你 Yeah,I said Leonard.
你确实叫的是我呢 Yes, you did, didn't you?
什么鬼东西啊 What the hell is that?
肉馅糕 Meat Loaf.
它怎么会在天花板上 What was it doing on the ceiling?
那是机密 That's classified.
[国际空间站]
休斯顿航天中心 这是国际空间站 Houston, uh, International Space Station.
我们遇到点小麻烦 We have a little situation up here.
我们想进行一次计划外的太空行走 We'd like to make an unscheduled space walk.
空间站 这是休斯顿航天中心 I.S.S., Houston.
请问哪名航天员会参与此次舱外活动 Which crew members would be involved in this E.V.A.?
休斯顿 全体成员都想到舱外几分钟 Houston, uh, we'd all like to step outside for a few minutes.
空间站 I.S.S.
我恐怕不能授权 I'm afraid we can't authorize that...
休斯顿 其实是想知照一下 Houston, this is more of a FYI call
我们其实已经全都出舱了 We are basically out the door.